I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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