ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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