I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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