I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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