Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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