i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
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THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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