If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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