I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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