Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i think i just lost a toe
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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