your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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