Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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