batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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