I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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