ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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