i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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