He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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