I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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