I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize