Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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