I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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