Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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