Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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