Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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