I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
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All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
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Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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