Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
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I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
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If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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