we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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