omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
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I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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