Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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