So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize