apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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