you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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