Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize