His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
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God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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