I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize