At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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