Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i wish my penis had a tongue
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize