would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize