i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just had sex on a roof
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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