I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize