Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
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My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
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Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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