Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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