Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
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Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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