Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize