we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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