So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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