His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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