We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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