There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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