Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
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Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
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I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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