I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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